| (no subject) |
[Feb. 14th, 2005|06:35 pm] |
Recommend to me
1. a movie
2. a book
3. a musical artist, song, or album
4. a LiveJournal user not on my friends list
5. what I should have for dinner
6. a website
7. a quote |
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| Where do you sign up for the free gunshot to the chest? |
[Feb. 14th, 2005|06:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Atreyu- the curse | ] |
well, nothing that great has been happening. My cat is really sick. he's in the vet now and had sugery today. they're keeping him overnight to watch him. I hope he makes it. He's my Boy, the one i could always count on to be there for me and i probably sound retarded but oh well. i'm in mr port charlotte.... should be a blast, yeah right.someone signed me up for it. but since i know i'm not going to win, i'm just going to make a joke of it. i'll let you know how it ends up.
Can YOU tell me if i misread your feeling towards me? or what was going on before you moved? it'd make my day alot easier. |
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| Don't Apologize, I hope you Choke and Die :) |
[Jan. 19th, 2005|11:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | Fuck You. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Brand New- Your Favorite Weapon | ] |
Light that smoke yeah one for giving up on me
and one just cause they'll kill you sooner than my expectations
to my favorite liar, to my favorite scar:
'i could have died with you'
i hope you choke on those words, that kiss, that bottle-i confess
ask yourself out on the insides,
I swore i loved you but i lied
let's play this game called 'when you catch fire'
i wouldnt piss to put you out
stop burning bridges and drive off of them
so i can forget about you
So bury me in memory
his smile's your rope
wrap it tight around your throat
on the drive home
joke about the kid you used to see
and his jealousy
breaking hearts has never looked so cool
as when you wrap your car around a tree
your makeup looks great next to his teeth |
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| You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back. |
[Jan. 17th, 2005|08:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Strung out- Twisted by design. | ] |
I guess it doesnt matter if i wake tomorrow. I actually would rather not. The world is collapsing around me and i'm too tired to care. I feel like the nerd thats always around but no one knows about. i am the shadow in the corner of the room. i have no idea what to do anymore. If i could forget how to breathe, without a doubt i would. I'm falling apart.... |
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| I'd stop the world and melt with you....... |
[Jan. 10th, 2005|08:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  dorky | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I Can Make A Mess- Timshel | ] |
Sorry its been so long if anyone has actually been waiting for a new entry. I've been working like 6 days a week, and havn't really been over here that much to use the new dell. Its a nice computer, not that i know anything about them so my opinion doesnt matter. This weekend was pretty good. Aside from working and hanging out at Denny's until the early hours of morning, i went to Amber and Ashley's going away party. It sucks that their leaving. I'm going to miss them. Its not everyday that I find people cool enough to talk to. With them gone it'll only leave me with Christina in 6th hour to make fun of that Gary kid. But oh well, I wish you guess the best of luck and happiness. You will truley be missed. I took my car to the track and it sucked. The fastest run was like 16.01. I was mad. So after three low 16 second runs i was agravated enough to leave. The night got better when we went to the hess/blimpee and ate. Ryan bought me food since he snuck in the track in my trunk. It's always fun around those two. I think we spent more time laughing and trying to hit each other in the balls than we did actually eating. I felt bad because they were all ready to close and we were in their screwing around but they'll get over it. Well, i'm gonna go. I'll try and update more often in case anyone actually cares. But PEACE OUT for now. |
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| ...And the sad thing is that i'd still drop everything for you...... |
[Dec. 15th, 2004|06:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the crunching sound of eathing Oreos' | ] |
its been awhile since i've last typed on here. my mom finally got the new comp and forbids me to put aim on it. shes dumb but whatev. nothing really special has happened lately. my exhaust should be here tomorrow.:) its gonna be amazing. i dont really have much to say. i dunno. |
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| I use the words you've strung to hang myself.......:) |
[Dec. 2nd, 2004|05:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Lostprophets | ] |
Well, nothings really happened in the last week or so since i've last updated. i've gone skating the last two days in a row and i screwed up my knee yesterday and i hurt my ankle today. I HATE THAT DUMB SPORT. i'm sick of school and most of the people i have to deal with throughout the day. i'm almost looking forward to getting out of school, even though i have no future and no plans to further my learning. But i need to move out. i'm getting tired of my parents. hopefully i'm going to buy my exhaust and header tonight. well, i'm sick of typing so i'm out. PEACE |
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| It's raining hard, again, here, now, that'll never change...Lets start a war. |
[Nov. 24th, 2004|06:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Lostprophets- the fake sound of progress | ] |
So, i'm sorry if i made you feel like a bitch. You're anything but that. I wasnt being lead on, i had my hopes up. that maybe somehow we could make it work. I'm a dreamer i guess. But now we dont even say more than a few words to each other, and i dont like it. your mega-cool and i liked talking to you. and even though you're moving i'd still like to stay friends. |
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| I feel like I've lost everything when you're gone. You're not making this easy. |
[Nov. 17th, 2004|03:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Empty | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Midtown- save the world, loose the girl. | ] |
As each day goes by, the sinking feeling in my stomach grows. I can only hope that dreams bring me closer to you. I dont know why i cant accept the fact that you want nothing to do with me. I'm sorry for not taking the hint and leaving you alone. i guess i'll have to try. i dont know what i did to make things like this but i apologize sincerely. I'll keep apologizing until i'm blue in the face if it'll make it all better. i dont know what to do. i dont know what else to say besides sorry. if it makes you feel better i beat myself up at night trying to figure out what i did. I'll miss you more than you'll know when you're gone. |
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| The sun always rises to soon..... |
[Nov. 15th, 2004|08:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Emery- The Weak's End | ] |
Sleep offers such saftey, so why must we wake? By cover of the moons shadows i'll bleed for you. i'll bleed until you come to my rescue. When my smiling writs spew out no more i'll be the hero, dying for what i love, paying for my mistakes. My nightmare, your wish: both granted in these winter nights. so i've been reading alot lately. Enders Game is AMAZING and i suggest that everyone reads it. Orbis is another good one. Hopefully this week i'm going to buy an acoustic guitar. Then instead of thinking so much, i can learn how to play and then be like dashboard. And then the ladies will love me and i can take over the world.. HAHAHAHAHA. Not really. i'll probably just end up being even less wanted and found to be more repulsive. but oh well. so be it. i dont really care anymore. about anything. but i'm sure as time passes and the seasons change, i'll begin to live and love again. But until then i'll continue to read, learn and write. maybe something good will result from all this. who knows. But i'm tired, so i'm done. Peace. |
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| I wish i would have died in your arms the last time we were together,so i wouldnt have to wake alone |
[Nov. 13th, 2004|04:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Matchbook Romance- Stories and alibis | ] |
Yesterday i realized that in only a few more months, i'll be on my own. Having to work. I dont know how many of my friends i'll loose touch with but i'm sure it'll be at least a few. after all these years of hating school and wanting it to end, i've realized i dont want it to end. I'll miss all of you who move off to school, or who i just loose contact with. but anyways, i havnt really been up to that much. I started working on a new idea for a video yesterday in tv pro. Its kinda a cool concept, or atleast i think so. its going to be video thats shot, but with no talking from the characters. Only talking that is like the characters thoughts. i've got everything written out for my first and second videos. Its emo stuff. If you wanna see it i'm going to burn all my stuff on a dvd eventually. But other than that, nothing to new to type about. I'm giving up on girls. i dunno. relationships are just not my thing i guess. but i'm tired so i'm going to go. Peace. |
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| With nothing left but bitter sweet regret I'm still standing here with out-stretched arms... |
[Nov. 8th, 2004|08:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  creative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The sound of my heart beating in my ears. | ] |
Another day same ol' same ol'. i think today was on the same crappy level as the past few weeks. isn't it odd how things start looking up and couldnt get to much better, but then it all changes. I guess it's like the sky is so beautiful before a storm, with the bright colors and clouds spred about. And within seconds it can be a terrible (well depends on how you look at it, personally i find them exciting) storm full of thunder and lightning blast that can shake the house that you find saftey in. One of the things i've learned through my seventeen years on this earth is that there is no such thing as saftey. Everything has a risk, especially when dealing with love. it's weird how i can relate most things in my life to love. I guess thats the emo kid inside of me. Life can is like a rose. It starts as a bud and blooms into the most beautiful thing there is the rose itself.. As life progresses the petals wither and die. that happens to most of us, or at least me all the time. a little piece of me dies as each day passes. Each rose is always different, but all contain thorns. The thorns represent difficult times gone by. And as enivetable as it is the flower that was once full of beauty and aromas crumples into a stick with a few deal petals left on it. and we end being put into the earth just as withered and crumpled. I feel like i'm constantly bleeding from a hole in my chest where a heart should be but i believe its gone missing. A rose isnt a rose without the thorns, picture it in its beauty sitting in a pool of blood from the numerous cuts from the thorns as you placed them in that vase. does the beauty of it makes it worth it? |
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| Tear out these vains on my heart... |
[Nov. 7th, 2004|09:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Emery- The Weak's End | ] |
yet again i've neglected to write in here. oh well, i doubt anyone reads about my crap anyways. i've been working most of the time so thats been keeping me occupied. i'm so sick of emotions. well, i'm sick of being lost and confussed all the time. i have no idea whats going on anymore. but i'm done typing now. why bother right? lol, thats what i'm starting to feel about most things. oh well. |
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| When I think of you i venture into a different world, and I need to escape now more than ever. |
[Oct. 27th, 2004|07:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Atreyu-the curse | ] |
so i'm never getting my hopes up again. hope is a funny thing i guess, its just a waste of time. i went to honda today to get that SI and i was ready to buy it, i had even gotten the loan approved and everything. but then my dad finally showed up and we went for the test drive and all he did was complain and tell me that i was making a mistake. i'm so sick of his crap. one thing that i found to be funny was that my mom was like can you help him work on the other civic some and my dad replied with forget about that civic. that made me feel nice and warm inside. that wasnt enough though because he felt the need to complain about how i never help him out around the house and how i'm lazy and so on. i cant wait to move out. so now i'm going to get chris to help me with the civic and get that done and then i'm done with my dad. i dont know if i'm still being kick out of my moms house. But i'm not going to live with him. i've got a killer headache and i'm debating on if i want to puke or not. so i'm going to go. PEACE. |
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| Everytime i think of you, my heart smiles.<3 |
[Oct. 24th, 2004|08:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Atreyu- the curse | ] |
Yet again, i've failed to write/type in here for awhile. where did i leave off? i think around last wednessday was my last update. so thursday was the best day that i've had in a LONG time. I went to school and then walked over to the mall and wasted time until ash and amber got there. i was sopposed to work at 12 but i told them no. so they got there around 1 and then we walked around for a little while and then we went and watched a movie. We saw the new hillary duff flick called raise your voice. It was a poopty movie but it was the best hour and a half that i've had in a really long time, and put me in a good mood for the rest of the day. then i went to work at kb and it was crazy. Sarah got fired so that leaves Ant in charge of the store now. i had to unload the truck which was a pain. i havnt worked that hard in a while. then friday i worked all day and bomo came over after work and spent the night. we woke up early and went skating before i had to go to work. I FINALLY OLLIED A LEDGE THAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS. i was so proud. then i worked until 430. after i got off work i went home and fell asleep waiting for a call to find out what i was doing that night. i ended going to play pool with steph, christina, and joe. then steph's friends blake and mike and his girlfriend met us there. i really hate pool. it'd probably be fun if i didnt suck. eveytime i played my team lost because i hit the eight ball in. after that happened four times in a row i gave up and quit playing. then we went to chilis and i had a bowl of soup because thats all i could afford.then i went back home and layed in bed and thought about amber and how she makes me smile all the time and how much i like hanging out with her, and eventually i fell asleep. then i woke up today and went to regal. i was sopposed to work from 12-8 but i left at 6 and went over to stephs house to make pizza for our english project. when i got there i found out that they had already made it. then i left there at like 8 and came online, and now i'm typing this. so now that i've recapped, i'm going to go. yeah, i'm out. PEACE. |
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| We can rise on the wings of a dove, see blue skies, getting lost in the thoughts of all this hope. |
[Oct. 20th, 2004|12:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pessimistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ludacris- chicken and beer | ] |
Another day down hopefully few more to come, i've been kinda down lately. I've had alot of time to think and thats never good. It seems like when i think things out in my head it works out so perfect, but in reality its the total and complete opposite. i need to learn not to get my hopes up... i'm just dumb like that and seem to think that things may work out but i'm not lucky enough for that and i never learn that i'm a mongaloid. if emotion was easily accessible it would have been cut out of me along time ago. i dunno. but i'm done complaining. And i'm sure you want to hear all this too, so i'll stop. so maybe later i'll update again, with good news. But for now PEACE. |
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| 2005 will be my demise.... |
[Oct. 13th, 2004|12:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Thrice- Kill me quickly | ] |
Why is it that what i really want i can never get? if it seems like i want to hang out with you so much i'm sorry but i cant help it. when i see you it makes everything better, i can forget about anything thats bothering me and only pay attetion to you. your eyes light up the room. i know that i'll never have the courage to say these thigs to you in person but atleast on here you'll be able to read it and know how i'm feeling. I guess that i'm just now realizing that everytime the sunsets its bring me closer to the day that you move, and i'm really not looking forward to that. i look forward everyday to seeing you, i look forward to going to school becasue i think that you'll be there. I may have said to much. I cant ever tell when to shut my mouth and keep things in. this may be one of those times that i should have stayed quiet. Bad judgement has always been one of my stronger qualities when it comes to things like this. i hope i didnt make things weird but that too is one of my stronger qualities. could you just let me know what youre thinking? |
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| Accept the fire that has spread among us. |
[Oct. 12th, 2004|04:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | creative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Thrice- the illusion of saftey | ] |
I had a pretty boring day today so instead of boring you with that kind of crap, i think i'll try somthing new. I'm going to write a song and i want your imput back on it. Dont worry about hurting my feeling if it sucks, I know that helping words arnt always kind. But oh well and on with the show.p.s. caps means screaming.
when forever comes to an end will you be there in my arms, can you mend this broken sky? walk with me down into the ocean, and kick my legs out from under me. as i lay in the water, mouth open gasping for oxygen kiss me for the first time and then starve me for air. I DONT WANT TO GO ON WITH OUT YOU HERE. BUT THIS GAME IS IN FAVOR OF the new contender. kiss me quickly, with your razor sharp lips. i wish i could have made that moment last forever when i first looked into your eyes. can our slow dance LAST FOREVER, i promise not to step on you toes if you'll hold me close and...if you'll hold me close and... can we go back to that saturday night, when it was just you and me. I DONT WANT TO GO ON WITH OUT YOU HERE. BUT THIS GAME IS IN FAVOR OF THE NEW CONTENDER. time is one of those things that i've mastered. and it'll be the ruin of me. i hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much TO LOOK FORWARD TO.
well, that'll be the first song that i put in here. now dont be shy... tell me what you think. But for now I'm out. PEACE. |
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| Doesn't it look so pretty when it's burning? |
[Oct. 11th, 2004|12:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Emery- The Weak's End. | ] |
Well, its been awhile since my last update thing. I started at KB yesterday. It was alright, all i did was straighten the shelves and put price stickers on new stuff. While we did that we listened to some good music. The first cd was hardcore so i didnt really like it but the carpet cleaner was like whats that noise and bobby was like its a christian band, so i thought that was funny. The next cd was silverstien and it made me think of Amber. Then i left there and came home, and went to sleep. Saturday i worked until 6. It wasnt that bad. I bought a fake louis vaton, or however you spell it, hat. I thought it was funny for like an hour then i realized that i had just wasted my money. After i got off work i watched Taxi with amber and ashley. it was pretty funny. I liked it. Well it could have just been that i saw it was amber that made it as good as i remember it being. There was a couple of really nice BMW's in it. So that was a plus aswell. After the movie at the theater, i went to ambers and watch donnie darcko. It was a really good movie. I think i'm going to dress up as him for senior trick or treat. like when he's in the skeleton shirt and pants combo with the hoodie. so that'll be gangsta. i left her house at like 12. Then today i had a pretty good day, even though i woke up late and forgot to grab a belt. it was ok though becasue i ganked christina's in 4th hour. Then Mr cushing told us we can draw a cool animation thing for pirate tv if we want to, and everyone knowing what a great artist i am know how awesome its going to turn out.lol. It'll be fun to try somthing new though, even if it turns out like poopie. I went in to tv pro againg for 6th hour today too. Its fun so i think i'm going to end up going in there everyday.Plus there is a couple of cool people in there that i get to hang out with. I think that tomorrow i'm going to lower the back of my hatch and maybe relocate the battery and maybe it it ready for a system.Hopefully this week i'm going toget alot done on it. i really want to have it done soon. I definately need to have it done before winter break so i can teach amber how to drive a five speed. well, My laundry is done so i need to fold it so i'm going to go. So for now PEACE. |
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